“When people expect something from you, it means you have given them reasons to believe in you!”
Every relationship has expectations in some form or the other. Every relationship is based on some give and take. It can be again anything – Love, Companionship, Being there, talking & taking care!
There are two theories and both are contradicting …
One says expectations are the root cause of unhappiness! If you lower your expectations, the argument goes, then you won’t be disappointed And the other says : You get what you expect. People with low expectations tend to be in relationships where they are treated poorly, and people with high expectations tend to be in relationships where they are treated well.
We can categorize it into three types:
1. Emotional expectations
2. Physical expectations
3. Material expectations
and each one has got its own importance in our life.
Don’t we burden love with too much expectation and responsibility?The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expectations. But we still expect!
Expectations are simple like being loved, being feeling special to spend time together or some special gifts. The only problem is when we consider expectations as ‘Negative’. At times it depends on how an individual relates to it. There are two parties involved and it depends on them how they take it.
Though we say some relations are unique! Beyond expectations!, Does it really happen?
If someone says he or she has no expectation from anybody for me, he or she is a great snob. We are humans not saints. We are normal humans! We feel. We Love. We Care. Don’t we all expect something from all relationship? Yes, we do… Only too much expectations and it’s overreactions bring pain. When these expectations aren’t fulfilled, it creates a sense of unhappiness in the relationship.
Our negative thoughts impose the following questions and this keeps ongoing.
- He/She isn’t doing this and that.
- Why is he failing in his/her duties?
- I do so much for him/her, why doesn’t it get reciprocated?
- It is his/her responsibility but not fulfilling the same.
The more you assume, define and analyse the more expectations you create. We assume that good friendships mean a lack of conflict or a good marriage means blind faith or good parenting means having all the solutions for our children’s problems.
Every relationship has arguments. Conflict is healthy because it leads to greater understanding but when they agree about fundamental symbols like what a home is, what love is, they can manage conflict constructively. That means they can arrive at mutual understanding and get to compromises that work.
Listen, resolve, accept, forgive – these are a few key mantras to smoothen out conflict zones.
Having realistic expectations will allow you to accept the flaws each person has. Finding the right partner is only the start of the journey to happiness and fulfilment and not the destination.
Consider yourself lucky that you have people in your life who expects something from you!